Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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