Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
