One girl and one boy is just not enough.
kristin has been a bad kristin
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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