I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
sex in a hospital.. check
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm both gender and math confused
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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