he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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