well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
