I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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