Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
sex in a hospital.. check
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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