I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize