i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
