he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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