i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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