also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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