I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
