im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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