The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
