The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
