Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
