Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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