I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize