so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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