Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
