big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
