You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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