Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
