It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
