I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
