he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
