how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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