My friends, they love my intelligence
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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