no, he came in my armpit
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
