Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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