Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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