I cannot find my penis.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
