Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
