Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
