It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
