My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
