i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
