I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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