Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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