is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
