um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
