Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Are my feet made of real feet?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
