AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Randomize
