I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
