You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
