Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
