p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
