i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize