Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
