The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
